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Trader Joe’s house-brand beers. Part One: The drinkening of the first three

My dear friend Melba gave me some terrific news. Trader Joe’s is selling beer! Yes, rest of America, this may be old news, but New York has some crazy-ass laws regarding who could sell what in regards to beer and liquor. (Trivia King Bonus Hint: Check out Seinfeld in syndication and you’ll surely see that episode where George wears the Gortex jacket and breaks a bunch of wine bottles in the liquor store. There’s beer in that liquor store, too. But there wouldn’t be if it were filmed in New York, because, unlike California, and I assume any sane state, beer cannot be sold in liquor stores. But I digress…)

There’s a couple of great features about Trader Joe’s selling beer. They sell their own house-brand, and they allow you to mix-and-match beer in a six pack. And the six packs are $5.99! Wow, that’s like half of what a Sam Adams six pack is! Coincidentally, they had six different types of house beer, so I got one of each, for $5.99! I’ve tried three so far.

I tried the Bohemian Lager first. It took me back to my days of purchasing cheap Löwenbräu, during the days when it was brewed by Miller Brewing. I think most American beer drinkers would be relatively comfortable with this style. It’s crisp and not strong in either spiciness or bitterness. It’s no Coors Light, thank goodness, but it’s no Pilsner Urquell, either. It hits a nice spot for a very inexpensive beer. The label indicates that it has 5% alcohol, which I appreciate being noted for a beer sold in America, and 18 bitterness units. I have no idea what bitterness units are, but I bet they’re more subjective than Scofield Units.

The Hofbrau Bock is mildly barley-flavored. It’s the sweetest of the three that I’ve tried, reminded me of a Kilians or a Yeungling, but much cleaner, with none of the mushroomy aftertaste that I find in less expensive American brands. I’m assuming that Trader Joe’s does not brew with adjuncts, and the label states that the beer is brewed with three different malts. It’s a bit light in color for a bock. It has 7% alcohol–take note desperate alkies on a budget–and a 22 on the bitterness scale.

Summer Brew is a mild Kölsch-style beer. If it is really brewed like a Kölsch, it’s top-fermented, in the style of an ale, but then cold-conditioned, like a lager. That sure is interesting. Unfortunately, it’s the most interesting thing about this one. It tasted like a mild IPA. There wasn’t much beyond a very slight hoppy note. Although it’s a 25 on the bitterness scale, and 4.8% alcohol, there really wasn’t much there. Not horrible, by a long shot, but with the other choices, it wouldn’t be one that I’d buy again.

Next I get to try the other three, a Dunkleweizen, a Bavarian Hefeweizen, and a Vienna Style Lager.

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Brooklyn Summer Ale

Every coin has two sides and many swords are double edged. I’m a big fan of the Cambrian explosion in beer varieties, because I think beer, like tea and coffee–other brewed beverages, has a strong flavor that can play well with various herbs, spices, and fruits. But the dark side to this is prevalent during the summer when hosts of breweries introduce their summer ales, with lemon and orange zests making -ades out of lagers.

I can take one or two of these a season, but eventually it becomes obvious that light lagers with lemon zest tend to taste like every light lager with lemon zest. The citrus overwhelms any underlying uniqueness of the beer beneath. Summer, to me, is a perfect time for a hefeweizen, but these can difficult to find in the average supermarket beer display. Even when the supermarkets offer different varieties, they sell seasonals by what sells, and what sells now are the citrus summer ales.

A 12oz bottle of Brooklyn Brewery Brooklyn Summer Ale

Brooklyn Summer Ale

So when I had to pick up a six pack at a supermarket for a same-day barbecue, and really, really, wanted a hefeweizen, I knew I’d be skunked. Instead, I decided to go a different route and purchase a summer ale that specifically didn’t say anything about citrus. To that end, I picked up some Brooklyn Brewery Brooklyn Summer Ale. Promising nothing more than golden ale with a bready flavor and crisp finish, this, I hoped, would make a decent selection.

It’s not bad, but it reminds me a lot of Samuel Adams Coastal Wheat and Magic Hat Circus Boy. (That I don’t like Circus Boy is doubly upsetting, because it’s Magic Hat‘s version of a hefeweizen. It doesn’t taste like a sweet, crisp wheat beer to me.) Both of those beers taste soapy to me. In fact, the Coastal Wheat is the only Sam Adams I’ve ever actively disliked. A few folks I know actually enjoy Coastal Wheat and Circus Boy more than any other beer, so I am not dismissing these beers out of hand. Whatever hops they are made with appeal to many people, but my taste buds don’t find them pleasing.

That said, the Brooklyn Summer Ale is far more palatable to me than those other two. I’m certainly going to drink more than one of these in the six pack, and I’d drink one or two again if I found it in a cooler at a party, but the English-style ale won’t be a regular substitute for when I can’t find a decent summer wheat beer. And, if I want it, I’ll add the lemon myself, thanks.

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